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Why it’s worth leaving the beaten track
It’s a fact that we will live longer than the generations before us. Advancements in medicine and wellbeing in our society mean that life expectancy increased around four months for each year in the 20th century. These additional years should be as valuable as possible instead of merely sitting and vegetating in a senile state. But the chances are not the best, because we’re not only getting older, we’re also getting fatter. Experts estimate that in ten years there will be twice as many diabetics as there are now. Being fat is anything but comfortable, but still most of us avoid breaking unhealthy habits and persist in indulging our convenience. Why do people find it so hard to change?
The comfort zone is like a train station that has closed. You wait for the right train to come, for something to happen “by itself”. Most people know or at least guess that they are waiting in vain, and yet they don’t pull themselves together. The law of gravity that applies in physics seems to apply to the psyche too. We act like an inert mass and like to stay where we are. It’s an evil we all know and we tolerate despite all of our concerns rather than jumping into the unknown.
We are what we do
Up to 90 percent of our everyday lives are run on semi-automatic, they are “usual”. We are the sum of our habits – we are that which we always do. Our habits structure our lives and determine our image of ourselves. Some are unhealthy or a burden on us. Some of our habits limit us, because we make good resolutions: we want to change. But a resolution alone is not enough.
Each habit is like a well-worn path
Patterns of behaviour that have become natural to us are persistent. Your closest ally is your brain. It tends to repeat things it has leaned over and over again. This means a neuronal pathway is created for each habit and can be used like a well-worn path – it is comforting and is generally also beneficial. If you want to change, you need new paths. Other, better habits need to develop instead of the old ones, otherwise you’re guaranteed to relapse.
How is a neuronal pathway created?
The “emotional brain”, which manages our needs and habits, likes things to be easy. If something seems to complex, it switches back to what it trusts, back to the entrenched neuronal pathways. This is why it is important to limit changes to manageable, simple initial steps and to repeat these constantly. Over time, new neuronal pathways develop. Regular, small improvements on a daily basis help with this. They create immediate experiences of success. This increases self-confidence and the ability to hold out and go the whole way.
Good intentions need a positive goal
Intentions need to be appealing. Forbidden thoughts rarely lead us to achieve our goals. Pleasing and pleasure-oriented objectives that are as specific as possible are more successful:
- How much can I treat myself to when I have lost weight?
- How good does my body feel after a long run?
- How proud will I be when I’m no longer out of breath when climbing stairs?
- How great will it be to stay relaxed?
If you want to change, you need both discipline and a positive objective. What does your “better other” look like? What do we really want and where are we just succumbing to the pressures of others? For example, what does the vague goal “living more healthily” actually mean? The more clearly you have a goal in mind and the more detailed this goal is, the easier it will be to work towards it.
Choose
Do you know the feeling? You want something, but at the same time you don’t. Ambivalence often makes it more difficult to plan a better life. Should you spend that much money on a week at a retreat? Of course, it would be a sensible investment in your health and in your mental wellbeing, but on the other hand a spa holiday with a bit of fitness thrown in would be much cheaper and you do exercise there too.
It’s important to think about it, but at some point you have to stop thinking. Ultimately, only actions count. Otherwise nothing will change. Ask yourself questions like:
- how significant is the emotional pressure?
- how often are you really relaxed?
- how much too much do you weigh?
- If you are experiencing chronic pain, it’s high time for a change.
Change is an opportunity
Many people think they have to change their life by force, but that’s like pulling on a sail. You can even practise relaxing. The best method for this is meditation. Changing is not a battle, it is letting go of old habits and step by step living in a way that makes you feel good in your skin. You don’t always have to make massive changes. Even small changes can do a lot. Often it is only the power of a habit that makes it seem so ingrained.
The aim is to identify and understand entrenched patterns and to change them. If you try to take opportunities despite your doubts or concerns, you will experience more courage and trust in your own abilities and will be able to direct your life in the way you want. The best thing of all is that in this way you discover new facets to yourself and maybe even a new you.